the meng special

i've never been a fan of recipes. or long ingredient lists. or things that need to be defrosted then allowed to breathe.

what does that even mean?

why should this lump of dough need to breathe?!

and am i morally questionable for wanting to put it in the oven?!?!?!?!

basically, anything that takes you longer to cook than it takes to eat is a big thumbs down in my book - but my little escapade with breathing lumps of dough will be told some other time - involves a 2 inch thick pizza that turned out more obese american than italian as originally planned
i say book - but it's really more like a double-sided page of A4. i won't deny it - i'm a bit of a chef - i diligently studied culinary technique under the tutelage of my mother who was schooled in such kitchen matters by her foremothers and have been carefully honing my skills for the past three years.

mostly true.

i guess by "diligently studied" i mean occasionally noticed her cutting up bits of vegetables (fruits? apart from wikipedia who really knows anyway?) whilst i attempted to sneak a cheeky bite.
and maybe by "honing my skills" i meant drunken late-night attempts to make maggi goreng (still trying)

let's cut to the chase. this dish was named "the meng special" - as hard as it is for many of you to believe, it was not named by me - but i am very proud to say that there is a select group of caucasian men for whom this is the only asian dish they are able to cook (and enjoy): "if white man from liverpool can do it; anyone can!" is my general mantra (said in scouse)

now that i've made sure my pre-amble is longer than the recipe:

this will serve 3 people or 1 meng.

slice 1 onion and 500g of turkey breast (recent incarnations have used boneless chicken thighs but i believe it is somewhat related to lack of exercise)

pour a little olive oil down, turn the heat up and start frying! after 30 seconds or so of sizzle pour down a tablespoon of sesame oil and generous amounts of soya sauce (preferably kikkoman) and then put the kettle on.

keep stirring the meat on a medium-high heat till it's cooked through. by this time the water should have been boiled - pour it into a pot and submerge three Blue Dragon wholewheat noodle nests. they take 2 minutes to cook. after two minutes - sieve them, throw them in and go crazy with the white pepper.
lower the heat a little and add more soya sauce if it doesn't smell awesome enough. asians tend to have a pretty built-in "soya sauce gauge" so if you are racially aligned to the dish you shouldn't have a problem. if you aren't - you won't notice anyway but just add more to be on the safe side. open up a pack of spinach (about 150g and ready-washed OF COURSE) and throw it in. STIR MORE.

when the leaves look like you just want to wring them out and hang them up to dry - we're done! :) sprinkle a bit more white pepper - mix and VOILA we have food.

i think the best time was clocked in at 12 minutes 13 seconds so if you manage to beat that and don't get hospitalised with salmonella (sneaky-sneaky cheating ain't allowed) then let me know!

lots of love xoxo

next up: how to choose the right songs for cooking. aka how to make an itunes egg-timer. aka how to make that awesome bit in bohemian rhapsody coincide with when you open the oven